After taking a shower myself, Jen paid me back by drying my hair. It was nice to be pampered every once and a while. Any time Jen stayed over, we would just share the same bed. We have been doing it for many years, so it was perfectly natural for us. The only difference about tonight was that Jen seemed restless.

“What’s wrong?” I asked softly. We were both facing each other, so it was hard not to notice Jen staring at me.

“Did you kill people before?” Jen asked. I guess she had many questions she had yet to ask me yet.

“Mmm… I had no choice. Sometimes, it was to protect myself. Sometimes, it was to snatch food from another. When the invasion happened and the apocalypse came, there was no trying to be civil. If you had the ability to survive, you did. If not, you could have become a slave or died in many different ways.” I was not going to hide anything from her. She needed to know, after all.

“I see…. Did you ever have a family?” Jen’s cheeks turned red. I reached out and pinched her nose. 

This silly girl was asking the strangest questions. “I never even lost my virginity,” I replied. “I had almost been raped a few times, but I escaped. The first person I killed was a man in his forties when I was seventeen. He cornered me and tried to rip my clothes off. But I took a large rock and bashed him on the head before he could get his dirty hands on me. I kept bashing until his head was mush. It made me sick, and I puked on the spot. 

“But after the first time, it was easier to take a life. I killed when I needed to, not because I wanted to or thought it was fun. But I will say that I never took shit from anyone. If you do not harden your heart, you will end up being a victim. I have seen it happen. I made friends, and those friends might end up dead the next day. After a few years, I just stopped being friendly to others. The war between humanity and the invaders was not an easy thing to deal with. War of any kind can change a person. The situation in which you live can also change a person. 

“Jen, I hope you can stay the same Jen in front of me, but in front of others, become a different person. I will do what I can to protect you no matter what.” Leaned forward and pressed my forehead against hers.

She closed her eyes and hugged me tightly. I could see tears streaming down her cheeks. I do not know if she was crying for me or not, but I still leaned over and kissed her tears. “We will be okay.”

This time, I would not join the fight. I died on the battlefield before. But this time, I will not run to enlist. I will stay where I am at and try to build a new place for myself. A new home for those I care about. I do not wish to go into battle unless I am fully prepared and know I will win.

Jen did not say a word as she pressed her face into my chest. I could hear her faint sobs, which made me tear up as well. I could only gently rub her back as she cried herself to sleep.

    When the next morning came, Jen was already awake, but she was still hugging me tightly. “Jen, if you keep doing this, I might have to ask you to be my wife.”

Jen looked up at me, blushed, and smiled before letting me go. I said this a lot to her, but to be honest, with how cute Jen was, I really would not mind. Now that I think about it, though, I never did find guys to be attractive in the romantic sense. I found some to be cute, but nothing more than that. I think the only one to ever stir my heart was actually this girl here.

In my previous life, I thought it was more of just me caring deeply for her like a sister, but now I understand that Jen might have actually been my first love. I guess this isn’t so bad either. Since now, I have plenty of time and can see if it is true or not. We will be together every day from now on, twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week.

Jen sat up, so I decided to hug her from behind and rest my chin on her shoulder. “My parents won’t be home until later, so we can rest a bit more if you want.”

“Can we?” Jen asked as she yawned. I could tell she was still tired.

“Mm… They should not be home until this afternoon.” I pulled Jen back down and threw the blanket back over us. Jen seemed to be content with cuddling up next to me and hugging my waist again. It did not take her long to fall back asleep.

I, on the other hand, only laid there staring at her for a few minutes before reaching over to my nightstand to grab my laptop. I still had many things to prepare. Right now I felt like the workaholic husband whose wife was sleeping on his stomach. Maybe later, I will really take a bath with her and see if I get any tingles. Questioning my own sexuality now seems kind of strange but I never had the time in my previous life. So, the question of whether I am gay or not was still up in the air.